Okay, whose decision was it to hold National Dumb Day and not tell me?

I mean I checked the Ozark Feed and Grain calendar (Yeah, the good one with the tractors and combines on it.), the Barry County HogCaller, the Penny Saver, AND the Dirt Farmer’s Almanac and not one of them sorry rascals deemed it necessary to inform me that last Monday was the official celebration of this illustrious event.

So, as you can imagine, I was totally caught with my overalls a danglin’ and nary a howdy-do for the collection of dim-witted, muddle-headed and… okay, I’ll come right out with it… just plain dumb questions I received this past July 2nd.

Mind you I get my fair share of email and, generally speaking, the bulk of it is from normal folk with normal questions and what not. I try to answer as much of it as I can and don’t make a habit of picking on folks for no reason.

After all, sometimes you have to ask a few nuggets if you expect to sift the wheat from the chaff. But for some reason last Monday the muttonheads and halfwits were literally coming out of the woodwork.

I probably received more scatter-brained correspondence on that one day than I have since Billy Bob fell off the barn. I don’t know if the heat was frying their brains or if they were all just drunk with joy over the prospect of a holiday in the middle of the week. All I know is that, on that particular day, my cup runneth over.

Now normally I wouldn’t publish what amounts to a private give-n-take, but I’m going to make an exception for one of the gems that took a notion to grace my inbox.

Keep in mind as you ponder it… that I’m not criticizing the spelling or the poor grammar. That sorta thing’s normal ‘round these parts. Ain’t like we’re stuck on all that book-learnin’ and such. No sir, that’s not the part that got my attention.

I didn’t edit nary a word. This is exactly what it said:

I read you article and have been going to a chiropractor for over 15 years. She also has a disc decompression machine that has helped many people. Why…do I need to be worried about using her and this machine, and why?
Jim

Sounds like a real question from a real person now doesn’t it?

Sounds like they’ve been happily seeing their chiropractor for nigh on 15 years. Goes on to say this here chiropractor has a machine that has “helped many people.”

Stops short of the usual “amazing results” and “only thing that got me going again,” but I reckon it will suffice.

Sounds like ole Jim is one satisfied cowpoke if you ask me.

But there’s just one teensy little problem with this message.

The sender was listed as “Disk Decompression of Delaware“ and the email address was discdocde@comcast.net

Yessir, I kid you not. The hombre that wrote this lovely bit of twinkley-do was so intelligent he actually sent it using a business email account.

Don’t know about you, but that just got me to scratchin’ my noggin:

• Why did this feller send me a fake email?
• Why was he posing as a patient?
• What was the point?
• What did he hope to accomplish?

It wasn’t like I was looking to find some way to ferret out the bad guys. All I was doin’ was sittin’ there mindin’ my own business and this here feller just walked up to the front door and said, “Howdy, Pardner. Mind if I shoot mahself in the foot?” 🙂

*****

References and Such:

I did me a search on this here interweb thing-a-ma-bob and I couldn’t find this feller Jim anywhere’s about. But perhaps these nice folks know who he is and can give him a hat-tip and a howdy-do next time they see him:

New Castle County Chamber of Commerce

The Continuing Saga:

Dumb Day, Part 2: Response from Disc Decompression of Delaware

Dumb Day, Part 3: Whatever Happened to Courtesy?

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