Category ArchivePersonal

Personal 08 Apr 2008 04:24 pm

My Little Visitor

It was such a fine day yesterday that I just had to open up the house and let in a little fresh air. The sun was shining. The temperature was mild. A gentle breeze was blowing and for a moment anyway, all was right with the world.

I poured myself a cup of coffee, settled in at my desk and proceeded to hammer out the various tasks on my afternoon agenda. That is until the stillness was suddenly shattered by shrill screams coming from the other room.

The Predator, which just moments before slept peacefully in my lap, is now on full alert. And although she’s an efficient killing-machine she has the courage of a sparrow and so, as usual, it was left up to me to investigate this latest disturbance.

I swept the razor-taloned beast to the floor and went to see if there was any hope of staving off whatever misfortune was about to befall.

Upon entering the next room I discovered, much to my amazement, that a small child had climbed up on a bench and was happily squealing something unintelligible in my open window. Mind you, having been spared the folly of matrimony and the subsequent disappointment of procreation, I had no idea what to make of this odd behavior.

Nevertheless, it is my firm belief that those of limited stature are best regarded with due diligence whenever they happen to escape from captivity lest they commence to wreak havoc and mayhem upon all in their path.

And so it was that I proceeded to ask her in my best; let’s scare it away and perhaps it’ll think twice before returning voice, “What are you doing?”

Whereupon, she looks up and I find myself gazing into the eyes of a lovely blonde creature whose countenance could melt even the blackest heart. What’s more, instead of fright, this angelic little cherub gleefully breaks into an extensive narrative of toddler babble the only decipherable part being something to the effect, “We’re going to eat them for dinner.”

She then points to her little co-conspirator dutifully picking dead leaves off the honeysuckle bush and filling a little plastic bucket with this wondrous treasure.

Quite smitten at this point — my original plan of stern scolding having melted into oblivion like a wisp of smoke — I’m left with little more than a mere, “Oh.”

As she happily scampered off down the street with her playmate and their newfound bucket of joy I couldn’t help but smile as I recall a line from an old John Wayne movie, “Too bad they have to grow up to be people.”



Personal 18 Feb 2008 07:42 pm

We Hold These Truths to Be Self-evident


1) As soon as you pour yourself a cup of hot coffee, you will be interrupted just long enough for the coffee to grow cold.

2) Any tool that’s dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3) When you try to show a repairman that a machine isn’t working, it will.

4) As soon as your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

5) If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

6) The moment you become “indisposed” in the bathroom, the phone will ring.

7) If anything goes wrong, YOU will be blamed.


Personal 09 Feb 2008 12:16 am

When all else fails

Finally decided to haul in the big guns…


Maybe now we’ll get something done.

I better go see how she’s doing,


Photo credits: I Can Has Cheezburger

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