I have a mouse.

I found the “evidence” on the kitchen counter this morning. (Yeah, I was pleased.)

Fortunately, things like that don’t bother me. I just hope he didn’t get his little feet dirty.

I would set a trap, but I’m all out of cheese.

By the way, did I happen to mention I also have a cat?

I don’t have a cat because of mice.

I have mice because of the cat.

You see my Kitty likes to bring them in the house so she can play with them. She catches them outside and then brings them in through her little cat door. She then proceeds to chase them around the house until they manage to get away from her.

She wouldn’t think of actually eating one of them.

That would be disgusting.

*****

This has gone on for years. It’s nothing new. In fact, it has become just part of the routine around here. She has also been known to bring in live rats, birds, baby rabbits, snakes, lizards, giant moths and other interesting insects. (Relax. I have managed to rescue all of the birds and baby rabbits, unharmed.)

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Tip-o-the-day: If you ever have a live bird or other animal loose in your house. Don’t chase them around with a tennis racket or other weapon like you see people do on TV. Just calmly throw a big towel over them. They will think they’re safe and will hide under the towel. You can then just wrap them up and safely carry them outside.

Second Tip-o-the-day: Don’t let the cat out with you when you turn them loose. Otherwise, she’ll just catch them and bring them right back in again.

– Dean

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If you’ve been reading this blog on a regular basis, you already know that I’m a big fan of the blog, Dr. Val and the Voice of Reason. Well, long story short, she was on vacation a couple of weeks ago in California and while there took the opportunity to enjoy a nice massage.

She relates the experience in her post entitled, Conversations at the Spa. (While you read this, keep in mind that she is a medical doctor.)

Those of you with healthcare backgrounds may especially appreciate this dialog:

Therapist (scrutinizing my back as I’m face down on a table): have you seen a chiropractor recently?

Dr. Val: Um, no. Why?

Therapist: Well, two of your ribs are out.

Dr. Val: They’re ‘out?’ Where did they go?

Therapist: A chiropractor can put them back for you so your muscles won’t pull in the wrong direction.

Dr. Val: Will a chiropractor be able to fix this permanently?

Therapist: No, you’ll have to keep going.

Are you starting to get the drift? Well, it only gets better. Here’s another little sample:

Therapist: I’m using my elbows to stimulate repair cells.

Dr. Val: Ahum…

Therapist: You have lactic acid build up in your shoulders so we have to flush the toxins out with special oils. You should also drink a lot of water.

Dr. Val: What sort of toxins?

Therapist: Like, dirt and metals and stuff that you’ve been exposed to.

[Snip]

Dr. Val: How do I know how many toxins I have in my body?

Therapist: Well, your shoulders are really tight and your ribs are out so I think you probably have a lot. You’ll need a lot of massage and you need to see a chiropractor. The oils I used on you will have a calming effect, though. You’ll probably sleep really well tonight.

Dr. Val: I see (inhaling, exhaling). I hope I do.

Yikes! Makes you wonder where massage therapists get their education.

Be sure to head over and read the whole post. It’s a stitch. And be sure to check out the rest of Dr. Val’s blog. She always has lots of good information for health conscious consumers.

– Dean

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Happy Monday everyone… or “Happy Computer Lock-up Day” as it’s known here at RYB headquarters.

No, I haven’t managed to fix my computer problems, yet. I have a pretty good idea of what’s causing it, but I just haven’t worked up the courage to undertake the software rebuild.

I’ve tried to get one of the cats to do it, but she seems to lack the proper motivation.

I’m toying with the idea of getting a laptop computer and using it for all my daily online activity and just using this desktop PC as a file server. That way, I’d have a portable machine I could take with me on trips plus it would free me up to work on this one without worrying about it being down for a few days if need be. (It would be a good idea to have a backup in any event.)

There are other reasons for getting a laptop, but I’ll probably put it off until after Christmas when the prices are lower.

*****

On a sad note, the kitty in the picture is actually no longer with us. She was poisoned during the Chinese cat food fiasco and subsequent recall that took place last Spring. Can’t definitely say she was poisoned by the tainted food, because she was fed a product that wasn’t on the recall list. But we took back the unused cans just the same.

Her name was Patches, because she had patches of fur from different breeds in her coat. For example, her main overall look was yellow Tabby, but her hind legs were dark like a Siamese. I used to tease her that she was made from spare parts.

When she was just a tiny kitten — while her brothers and sisters where playing and running around the kitchen — she would come over and climb all the way up and sit on my shoulder nuzzling my neck while I made breakfast. Needless to say, she won a special place in my heart. (I’m such a pushover.)

Reluctant to part with her, I gave her and her brother to my mother who kept her for the past 12 years.

I’m afraid I made the mistake of giving her away too soon, however. She apparently wasn’t fully weaned and so, for her entire adult life, she would climb into your lap and attempt to nurse. It was so cute and adorable if you didn’t mind a big wet spot where she slobbered all over you.

She never quite stopped being “just a baby kitty.”

Every cat has a different personality and her lot in life was to be a sweetheart. She is sorely missed.

Dean

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“Just take those old records off the shelf,
I’ll sit and listen to ‘em by myself.
Today’s music ain’t got the same soul,
I like that old time rock & roll.”
– Bob Seeger

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It’s no secret that my real passion is music. (I have about as much interest in back pain as I do in dental floss or ceiling wax.) And there’s nothing I like better than finding a “new” old song that I’ve never heard before or a band (old or new) that really knows what music is supposed to sound like. (Don’t get me started.)

One of my favorite bands from the 1960’s was a very popular vocal group by the name of Jay and The Americans. Over a span of 11 years they had a string of hits including such classics as This Magic Moment, Come A Little Bit Closer, Cara Mia and Only In America. (I’m particularly fond of Hushabye and Walking In The Rain.)

Why do I bring this up? Well, as it turns out, one of the founding members of that group was a fellow named Kenny Vance. Yeah, I’d never heard of him either until one evening I was watching one of those Doo Wop specials on PBS television and among the performers was this group by the name of Kenny Vance and The Planotones.

At the time, I thought they were a newly formed “cover band” and it seemed odd to me that they were included on a program showcasing classic artists from the 50’s… not that I cared because the song they did totally blew me away.

Here’s that performance… a sample of just how cool this guy and his music really is:

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Note: If you don’t have a high-speed connection, you can still view YouTube videos. Just let it play through once (it will stop and start several times). Once it’s done, just click it again. I’ll play correctly now that’s it’s loaded into your cache (or temporary Internet files).

*****

A little for you history buffs:

In the 1970’s, after Jay and The Americans broke up, Kenny Vance went on to a career composing and scoring television and film soundtracks. His list of movie credits include, “American Hot Wax,” “Animal House,” “Eddie & The Cruisers,” and “Looking For An Echo.”

He was the producer for the rock band, Steely Dan and for a while was the musical director for Saturday Night Live.

As an actor, he appeared in “Hurly Burly,” “Billy Bathgate,” “American Hot Wax,” “Eddie & The Cruisers,” and the Woody Allen films “Manhattan,” “Stardust Memories,” “Crimes and Misdemeanors” and “Husbands and Wives.”

During the making of the film “American Hot Wax,” he put together several bands … including one called The Planotones … for the purpose of shooting the movie. His goal was to recreate the early days of rock & roll as a way to tell the Alan Freed story.

Jumping ahead a few years… he re-formed The Planotones in 1992 and they are still performing to this day.

All of this has been my longwinded way of saying that – even though you may have never heard his name before – Kenny Vance has been around since the beginning and that’s why he was included on the PBS Doo Wop special.

– Dean

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I apologize if my last post was a little confusing.

First off, I start out talking about taking some time off… then go into the real subject; Ben’s blog… comparing it to Steinbeck’s book… which could make you think that the post is about a novel… but it’s not… it’s about a blog that reads like a novel. (Whew!)

Couple all that with the fact that I added the images as an afterthought. I really didn’t design the text to coincide with them… something I intend to do in the future… but for now I’m just playing around with flickr and photobucket.

I wanted to find a good cover shot of Steinbeck’s book, but couldn’t find one in the public domain that I liked so I just stuck with the Navy theme.

*****

Speaking of the Cosmos… I’m still here.

I haven’t actually gone anywhere. I thought I was back-to-blogging a couple of weeks ago (as alluded to in my last post) and yet, more than a few days have gone by and I haven’t posted anything.

It’s not that I have a lack of ideas. I’ve just been having trouble putting the words together. Chrysalis Angel hit the nail on the head today in a comment on that post; I’ve lost my muse.

She’s out there somewhere and it’s just a matter of time before I find her again.

*****

Part of the problem has been a lack of time. I start out each day with the goal of writing something for the blog and the next thing I know it’s late at night and I wind up telling myself, “It’ll keep till tomorrow.”

Even when I do take the time to “write something” it just ends up on the cutting room floor. After several hours of stomping and flailing around on the keyboard — what started out as an interesting post — just seems to turn into sludge.

*****

I have been working on several things related to the website including a new project that I think people will find interesting and helpful. I suppose I could blog about what I’m doing, but that would just take time away from the actual “doing.” (Not to mention that I may change my mind about halfway through the project and decide it’s not a good idea after all.)

But enough about me…

*****

BTW, The really cool street rod in my second to last post is a 1927 Model T Coupe… and no, it’s not mine. (I wish.) It’s just a picture I stole from who knows where. (If it’s yours, drop me a line and I’ll give you proper photo credits.)

– Dean

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Okay, I’m back…
(Whoopee.)
(Thanks.)
*
*
*
(So, you were gone?)
(I’m sure a couple of people noticed.)
(If you say so.)

No big deal, I just had to take some time to recharge the old batteries.
*
*
(So, are you recharged?)
(No.)
(Didn’t think so.)

*****

I have to lead off my less-than-triumphant return to blogging by telling you about one of my favorite late night reads.

When I first discovered this writer, his work reminded me of John Steinbeck’s novel, Travels With Charley. Of course, a casual observation like that is never fully accurate.

Ben Conrad (a.k.a. USS Ben USN (Ret)) has a style all his own and trying to describe it by comparison is unfair to both writers. After all, anytime you try to put someone in a box you always fall short of the mark.

Just as with Steinbeck’s novel, Ben’s blog is taking you on a journey through a portion of his life. At times you’re not sure if you’re reading a work of fiction or an autobiography except for the fact that it is just too painfully honest not to be real. For me to describe it further would be to spoil it for you… so I’ll just leave you the privilege of discovering One Cosmos at Sea for yourself.

*****

(So, you’re really back?)
(For the moment.)
(And we can look forward to more of this?)
(Excited?)
(Breathless.)
*
*
*
*
(You realize you’re talking to yourself again.)

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“Life is what happens while you’re making other plans.” – John Lennon

*****

I didn’t actually choose to become a writer. It chose me. It wasn’t my idea, honest. It just happened.

I don’t even like writing. I’d much rather be working with my hands… building things… fixing things. In high school I wanted to be a mechanic or a machinist. I wanted to build racing cars and hot rods. I wanted be an engineer and design fuel-injection systems and exotic sports cars.

Back then if you’d told me that someday I’d become a writer… I probably would’ve just hung myself… at the very least I might have prepared.

*****

Everything I hated in school… every subject that I did poorly in… has turned out to play a major role in how I earn a living.

I hated English class and all my English teachers hated me. I’m not joking. Even if I tried to do a good job, they would rip it to shreds. I’ve never heard one positive word of encouragement come out of the mouth of an English teacher. (I’m pretty sure it was all their fault.)

If I had a writing assignment, I would turn in one paragraph. My teachers all thought I was just lazy. I never told anyone that — even to this day — I get a severe pain in my hand at the base of my thumb if I have to write more than a paragraph. I guess it’s what they call writer’s cramp. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. All I know is I became very adept at condensing everything down to one paragraph.

*****

In seventh grade they tried to teach us to type. I managed to pass the class somehow, but I refused to learn to type. Typing was for girls. I wasn’t going to become a secretary. I was going to build hot rods for Pete’s sake.

I managed to make it through high school and college without learning to type. I always found some girl to type my papers for me. It was stupid I know. Looking back I would have done things differently.

It wasn’t until I was 25 that I taught myself to type. One day it just dawned on me that I didn’t have to endure this pain in my hand every time I needed to write something down… all I had to do was push a button.

Just push a button! It was brilliant! Why had I never thought of it before!

I kicked myself and then kicked myself again and kept kicking myself all the way down to the store where I bought a reconditioned IBM Selectric typewriter, brought it home and proceeded to teach myself how to type. It took all of two days.

Two days… and it changed my life forever.

You hear people like Dr. Phil talk about what they call “defining moments?” Well, learning to type was a defining moment in my life. Now if I could just find something to use for a noose.

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Woke up at 3:00 am this morning. Cat decided we were burning moonlight and should get up. Negotiation ensued… she won.

Fed the little fur ball and then booted up the ‘puter. Decided to try fixing a few of the many things wrong with it.

*****

I can’t leave it on overnight because it locks up when my anti-virus program does its scheduled 24-hour scan. Thing also locks up every Monday afternoon for some strange reason. Once it locks up, it will continue to lock up every time it’s left idle for more than a few and the only fix is to use the Windows Restore to roll it back to a previous date. This usually takes two tries for reasons known only to God.

Decided to completely delete latest version of Firefox because it hasn’t worked right since last upgrade. Always opens multiple tabs. Won’t let you close them. Lost all my bookmarks and extensions. Only quick solution seems to be start all over with a fresh install.

After deleting Firefox and a couple of other programs I don’t use anymore, I decided I should go for broke and try to repair Windows while I’m at it. Of course I know with every ounce of my being that I’m flirting with disaster.

But then, it would sure be nice to have a clean working installation instead of continually hobbling along with semi-crippled machine.

*****

Spent rest of morning trying to figure out how to fix it. It’s still not fixed. Probably will never be fixed.

Decided to stop and have breakfast at 5:00.

After breakfast I decided to go back to bed for a wee bit. Three hours of sleep just doesn’t work to well for me. Woke up about 9:00. Answered my email and took care of some other paperwork. Had lunch at 12:00 noon. Decided I better go to the grocery store if I expected to eat again.

Hoped in the shower to scrap off the top layer. Decided to change into the same babe-magnet ensemble I always wear… old gray tee shirt and faded shorts. Drove self to store with windows down so hair could dry in my signature insane-homeless-guy look.

It was a windy day, so between the car and the store I managed to maintain my carefree appearance.

*****

Upon entering the store, I’m immediately smitten by Lovely Blonde Angel. Our eyes meet ever so briefly then quickly we look away. Was there something there? Was it just my imagination? We proceed on our way as though neither had really noticed.

I resist the temptation to follow Lovely Blonde Angel like a lost puppy. After all, I’m there to get groceries. I’m on a mission. So as usual, I head towards the produce section where I picked up peaches and red seedless grapes, cantaloupe and watermelon, all on sale. Bananas have gone up 4 cents.

I look up from by bargain hunting and there’s Lovely Blonde Angle just a few feet away in the bakery. Her back is to me so I risk a second look. She’s wearing very cute Capri cut jeans. Her golden hair is just kissing her shoulders. I pretend that I don’t notice.

I head for the meat section to pick up some hamburger. Just as I’m turning there’s Lovely Blonde Angel pushing her cart alongside mine. My heart leaps even though I know it is but a chance encounter. It means nothing. She doesn’t even know I exist. I continue to pretend that I don’t notice her, as well.

Carefully, as she pulls ahead, I glance her direction and notice she’s wearing a layered top… a combination of a blue over white. She is exquisite. Her complexion is like peaches and cream. Her face could only exist in a dream. Her hair is like spun gold.

She is, after all, Lovely Blonde Angel.

She turns to make a selection and I push on towards the dairy aisle. Should I speak to her? Should I try to trip her? Where’s an inkwell when you need one?

I broke down and bought a gallon of milk. Wasn’t going to buy milk. Didn’t buy it the last time… not at nearly four dollars a gallon. But they said on the news that the price was going up again, so I couldn’t resist checking to see how much it was. Noticed it hadn’t gone up yet, so decided to pick up a gallon of 2%. It might be the last milk I buy for awhile, so might as well get it while it’s only $3.83 a gallon.

I turn to look, but Lovely Blonde Angel has disappeared. I smile inwardly. I knew she wasn’t following me. I never really thought she was. That would be silly. That would never happen. I’m invisible to someone like her. I’m not one that girls ever notice.

And yet a small part of me is disappointed. A small part of me would like to be that guy just once.

I head back towards the front of the store, stopping again in the produce section to pick up two pints of Michigan blueberries and some strawberries to go with the milk.

As I’m heading for the checkout counter my heart skips. Here comes Lovely Blonde Angel in my direction. I play it cool. I maintain my composure. I know it’s just another coincidence. I select a checkout line. She gets in line one aisle over. Her back is to me. She’s looking at the magazines. There’s one person ahead of her. There’s one person ahead of me.

I unload my cart. The conveyor is moving. I glance in her direction and our eyes meet again. She looks away. Was there a smile?

It’s my turn to check out. I make small talk with the cashier. I pay. I place my bags in the cart. I turn and look. She’s gone.

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Well, it’s Back-to-School time and you know what that means. Summer vacation is over and all the little kiddos (and Medical Students) are headed back to the grind.

But don’t let the theme fool you; you’re going to want to check this edition out even if you aren’t headed back to class.

Battle stations! Battle stations!

Bronze Dog has assembled an unparalleled fighting force of hi-tech mech warriors fully equipped to take on even the most zealous opponent in this latest edition of The Skeptic’s Circle.

Let me repeat; they will fail.

We have been assigned to serve as backbone of this unit and serve we will. It is our responsibility to see that no altie woo goes unchallenged. We will protect our flanks. We will remain vigilant. We will persevere. And, we will overcome.

You have your assignment.

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