randolph wrote:Hello Dave
Thanks for coming here and asking for help. I first read your post shortly before going to bed, and like MJ, was greatly moved, but felt too sleepy to respond coherently. But I've been unable to sleep, thinking about you ... and a few things came to mind. I'm really glad MJ wrote so many good things ... hopefully you'll find at least a bit more here to add to her many helpful words.
Yes, there is hope for you. In fact, it appears from your post, that in spite of this overwhelming and painful (but temporary) difficulty, you have much to be thankful for already. Family who care enough to be trying to help you. A successful operation, which is reducing your pain and helping you heal. Enough inner strength and character to realize that your thoughts of suicide, (though unpleasant to experience) are stupid to seriously consider. Disability insurance to carry you through financially, so you can rest and recuperate without the added burden of trying to work while you heal. Your good heart that fervently desires to help other people as a firefighter. Man, do you have a lot to live for!
Now, just one thing for you to do: have you tried doing Dean's beginning back rebuilding exercises? If not, you're in for even more hope and reason to live. And if you have started them, then hang in there. As your body heals and as the pain subsides, in spite of how hopeless your feelings, your body will be sending your brain the message, that ... hey, there is hope here ... or as MJ writes, there's light at the end of the tunnel.
As for the damage that the chiro may or may not have done to you; it's really difficult to say how much damage the chiro did (unless you had MRIs done before and after the adjustments). A herniated disc (like you experienced) generally takes years of daily abuse to develop. Dean outlines some of those abuses in his books: all the sitting we do and lack of compensatory stretching and exercise gradually ruin a back over the years.
Like you, my sciatica symptoms coincidentally exploded into my life right after receiving 3 adjustments from a chiro for a relatively minor back problem. I was ready to kill the chiro ... and may have, if I could have walked into his office. But the truth is (and this may be hard to hear, it was for me), I did most of the damage to my ruptured disc by not caring for my back very well. Yes, the chiro was a crumb to take my money for doing mostly nothing. But thankfully, with the help of RYB, we are learning to prevent further back problems, and won't have to keep giving money for mostly useless chiropractic "care".
Again, please focus on doing the beginning RYB exercises, in spite of how hopeless you might be feeling now. Yes, it's dark now. But a lot of us were where you are, and have walked out into the sunshine using the RYB program.
Randolph
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